Five Leadership & Life Lessons I Learned from My Mom

My beautiful mom with my dad, as a child, with her only child (me), and with her beloved (only) grandson.

Two weeks ago, I lost my mother to a sudden, massive stroke.

As I move through the early days of grief, I find myself reflecting not only on her life, but on the values she modeled that now shape how I live and lead. While my dad’s professional influence has always been clear – his career in corporate America and entrepreneurship offered a blueprint I’ve followed – my mother’s impact has been quieter, but no less profound.

She lived with Type 1 diabetes for more than 70 years, a reality that required unimaginable strength, discipline and optimism. She wasn’t a CEO and didn't climb a corporate ladder. But in these weeks of remembering, I’ve come to understand how much of my own leadership philosophy was rooted in her example.

Here are five of the most enduring lessons she taught me:

#1 Relationships Matter

Throughout my career, I’ve always placed high value on relationships. I now realize that came directly from watching my mom. We moved nearly every two years during my childhood, but she maintained close friendships across states, decades and life stages - long before smartphones and social media made it easy. 

From garden and book clubs to volunteer boards, her ability to nurture meaningful relationships shaped how I approach life. She tended friendships the way she tended her garden: with consistency, warmth and deep care.

#2 Give Back

My mom didn’t earn a salary for much of her life, but she gave more to her community than many do in a lifetime. She volunteered regularly, served on multiple committees and contributed generously to causes that mattered to her. While paging through her checkbook in search of a phone number, I noticed that charitable donations far outnumbered bill payments. 

Giving back wasn’t something she talked about; it was simply part of who she was. Whether it’s writing checks, volunteering our time, or donating what we no longer use, we all have something to offer. Supporting causes we believe in is one of the most tangible ways we can strengthen our communities.

#3 Stay Positive

By nature, I lean skeptical — my high school English teacher even called me a cynic. My mom, on the other hand, was relentlessly positive. Even through personal health challenges and difficult circumstances, she saw beauty in everyday life and believed the best in people. 

When I was a teenager, at the height of my negativity, she sat me down and shared her hopes that I would see the wonderful side of life and value the beauty in the everyday. That talk changed my life. Much later, one of my favorite former bosses, Dr. Tony Zeiss, wrote about the importance of positivity in his book, "The Nine Essential Laws for Becoming Influential." He and my mom were right. The best leaders are those who consistently display a positive attitude.

#4 Legacy Matters

Whether we intend to or not, we all leave a legacy. My mom’s is unmistakable. She’ll be remembered for her strength, fearlessness and joy - not just by her family, but by neighbors, friends and fellow volunteers whose lives she touched. 

What an incredible legacy she left - from her roles with various nonprofits and organizations to her selfless care for others and her generosity. I felt people fall to their knees when I called with the news that she had suddenly passed, and I see and hear her legacy when I speak to those who miss her as I do.

#5 Life's Too Short

I learned this early when I lost my best friend at age 13, and it’s been underscored by my mom’s sudden passing. Life is unpredictable, and time is precious. If you don’t love what you’re doing, it’s time to change it. If you’re thinking of someone, reach out. I try to fill my life with people and work I believe in, and going forward, I’ll be even more intentional about that.

To say I miss my mom doesn’t begin to capture the depth of what I feel. I don’t yet know what it looks like to move through the world without her. But I find solace in knowing that her lessons live on - in me, in my son, and in all who knew her. If I can live in a way that reflects even a fraction of her wisdom, compassion and joy, I’ll have honored her well.

I love you, Mom. And I miss you.